Bossy’s All New Naturalization Test.

How many stars are there in our flag?
Answer: 50, not including John Travolta.

Who elects the President of the United States?
Answer: The electoral college Katherine Harris.

For how long do we elect the President?
Answer: Four years Hell to Eternity.

What is the Constitution?
Answer: The supreme law of the land That thing lining the bottom of
Barney’s crate.

What are the duties of Congress?
Answer: To make laws To pass bills that are vetoed by the President.

What is the Bill of Rights?
Answer: The first 10 amendments of the Constitution The Right to elect Bill one more time.

Who is the Speaker of the House?
Answer: Bossy, unless she has laryngitis.

Who said, "Give me liberty or give me death"?
Answer: Patrick Henry Laura Bush.

What is the 50th state of the Union?
Answer: The State of Anxiety.

Who was Martin Luther King, Jr.?
Answer: Exactly.

Name one of the Constitutional requirements to be eligible for President.
Answer: Must be a natural born citizen Must be a natural born doofus.

How many Supreme Court justices are there?
Answer: Nine About six too many.

Who was the first to adopt the Declaration of Independence?
Answer: Angelina Jolie.

What is the name of the President's official home?
Answer: The White House The Danvers State Insane Asylum.

Who sold the Louisiana territory to the United States?
Answer: France James Carville.

Who was the President during the Civil War?
Answer: Ronald Reagon.

What special group advises the President?
Answer: The Cabinet The Kitchen Sink.

What are the two major political parties in the U.S. today?
Answer: The Democrats and the Republicans The 2007 Academy Awards and the Greenwich Cotillion.

Which President freed the slaves?
Answer: Abraham Lincoln Barack O’Boyfriend.

These Are Sample Questions From The New Naturalization Test Which Even Bossy Couldn't Pass.

Comments

[Jodi]

Well, shoot. If they ever throw pop quizzes at us citizens, I am SO screwed. Perhaps I should print out your answers and commit them to memory.

Question: Do you mind if I link to you?

You see, every so often I post a few links to sites that I enjoy. I especially like to do it when I am feeling really lazy and can't come up with anything original. I would like to link to you during one of those times. May I?

[Jen M]

Yup, hell to eternity sounds about right.

[magpie]

I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. Laugh because you're funny; cry because the situation sucks.

[amy]

where can I get a pair of hanging chad earrings?

[amy]

where can I get a pair of hanging chad earrings?

[Erin]

Even though Pres. Bush may be goofy, I think there is something darn right cute about him.
I had the hots for Bill, too, while he was in office!
Don't think I could have "done" Jimmy, though!

[Nicole]

I recently found your blog. I love it!
Very funny, a bit cheeky, quite witty!

[penny]

LOL! They have the same nose.

[orangeblossoms]

I always wondered what shrub was lining the dog's crate with. Also, he shows the dog more affection than he shows Laura. Go figure.

[penny]

Wait! Bush has three arms in that last pic! Aaack! Run like Hell!!!

[nutmeg]

And what do you get when you mix a Bush with a Dick? Screwed.

[jeanne]

recently was referred to your blog-love it --today's was fabulous!lifted those grey clouds-poof.

[Tuesday]

I love it!

[Les~]

Awesome! Do you happen to know what the pass and/or fail average on that test is?

[Alicia]

BOSSY = AWESOME

[Brando]

The Angelina one was especially good. Nicely done.

[Michael Bains]

Yah, what is Up with those 3 arms??? Was Rover helpin' him do the salute correctly?

BTW Bossy, I definitely had you in mind as my "other" candidate on the Unity '08 site.

Good stuff!

[Seattle Mamacita]

State of anxiety hmmm i wonder how many people live there? Clever quiz makes me want to make up my own version...

[Criquette]

When will I remember to put on some Pampers before I read your blog???

[Farty]

I think technically all of our laws have to be approved by the Queen before they can go on the statute books. The reason I'm not sure this is true is: it's never happened in my lifetime!!! And we have a lot of laws.

At least your prez is elected. No, wait...

[Oh, The Joys]

I have never been so satisfied with any previous political advisor and would recommend BOSSY to all my friends.

[the Mater]

Have you ever written for SNL?! Bossy, you are wickedly funny. We must get you a gig on live TV.

[fish]

Heh, I thought those were empty percocet sheet earrings...

[BOSSY]

So, confession: Bossy photoshopped away the security guy standing in the background but she forgot to erase the guy's arm. The ass in the photo, however, is real.

[lildb]

damn, sam.

brilliance from this quadrant of the interwebs is blinding.

[tongue in cheek]

I want you on my team!

[Jayne]

Hahaha... those're great answers. I don't think they encourage smart-assishness, which is really a crying shame. I figure, if you give a creative answer you really should get credit. Damn those beaurocrats!